i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Can Purell be used as lube?
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
