Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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