I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
She announced her abortion via fbk
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Randomize
