quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
