I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Randomize
