i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize
