none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I think people are normalizing furries
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
