You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
PS: I just woke up from my shower
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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