I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
