No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
