I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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