guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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