I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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