is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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