Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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