Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
After tacos, we're chasing women.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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