I swear she didn't look like that last week.
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I fill condoms, not promises.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
