This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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