wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
birth control should be required to get into college
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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