we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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