ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
