Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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