You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Girls should come with a carfax report
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
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