Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
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