I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
