Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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