People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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