forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
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