she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
