I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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