Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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