so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
