sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize