So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
