if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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