What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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