oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
