ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
i love accidental penises.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
