3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Found your dick twin last night
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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