she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
