I just saw a hot homeless man
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Randomize
