I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize