Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I'm having to shit out rocks
True college students do jello shots in the library
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