Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
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