For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
