im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
sex in a hospital.. check
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
