i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
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