He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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