I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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