My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
