I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Randomize
