K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Randomize
