i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
