Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
