i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize