just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Randomize
