Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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