somebody snuck up and got me drunk
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize