Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize