i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Randomize