I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
