ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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