I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
