My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
