Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Randomize
