i permit you to call me
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize