Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
