I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
