Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
