used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
