if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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