You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
