so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
