If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Randomize
