That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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