I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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